16 Czechoslovakians #14: Slavia Praha

Remember the Simpsons episode ‘The City of New York versus Homer Simpson’, where Homer comes to hate everything about the Big Apple because of his own misfortune within the five boroughs? Well, in truth the renowned city of Praha became that on Saturday evening for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the city, but sometimes things conspire in the most ridiculous of ways. Even as I write this, my body still aches due to what happened, but more on that later…




 The day started early with three of us representing the so-called Gentleman Ultras of Zbrojovka Brno in the bright lights of Prague. I should have foreseen the tumultuous day ahead when I’d spotted some spilled milk on the station floor, regrettably cleaned up before I could make a joke about having sobbed over it. Fear not though; that’s what my Twitter is for!


 

The day’s opponents were seeking their 8th consecutive win, so we’d essentially written off the game before a ball had even been kicked. We watched Zlín v Teplice in the pub, and Zbrojovka’s odds of winning were around the same as Teplice when they were 2-0 down. Basically, it would take something extraordinary to stop them. Incidentally, we had a lovely chat with Zlín’s Slovak CDM Marek Hlinka’s brother who worked behind the bar at Restaurace Sokolovna. It maintains my record of not yet having met an unfriendly Slovak. It’s a lovely place if you want somewhere a bit less touristy.



Despite attempting to avoid the tourist spots, we did grab a nice spot of lunch in a place called Black Betty’s, with double pattied burgers named ‘Chokers’ named after rock stars and famous faces that have, well, choked on their own vomit. In any case, I opted for the ribs to tide me over until the Paprika Klobasa at Slavia (which was also excellent by the way).

 

We took the packed tram to the Fortuna Arena and went to pick up our tickets. The stadium was certainly better than I’d anticipated, with the wooden underside of each stand adding a unique charm to differentiate it from those usual identikit big club grounds. The stadium also doubles up as a hotel on one side and a McDonald’s drive-thru on the other. It’s certainly different.




Slavia fans were fairly loud and impressive throughout, with both sets of fans paying tribute to their late manager František Cipro before the game – the TIFO from the home fans was the perfect tribute. The game began and as expected, Slavia dominated. That said, Zbrojovka held firm until half-time, even putting the ball in the net with their first venture forward, only for it to be deemed offside.


They still carved out the best chance of the first half before the whistle though, and were giving Slavia plenty to think about. Ewerton inevitably broke the deadlock, which seemed to give Zbrojovka a shot in the arm. They had chances to level, but unfortunately Mick Van Buren added another with five minutes to go. Not quite the drubbing we expected, but a performance to be proud of nonetheless.

 

As for the rest of the night, that’s when things took a slight turn for the worst. On failing to board the packed tram, we opted for a bus slightly further up the road. We picked up our tickets on board, though apparently had bought tickets for senior citizens by mistake. Naturally this was the one instance of a conductor checking tickets, which meant a fine of 1000 korun would sting.

 

It wouldn’t, however, sting as much as my shoulder, which was subject to a pretty nasty fall on that same bus. The driver braked with some ridiculous gusto, which sent a whole bus load of people flying toward the front – myself included. I bore the brunt of the fall and felt lucky in many ways not to have been seriously injured. Alas, it added injury to the insult of this jobsworth conductor. Despite only being 25 minutes at most, it will probably go down as my worst bus journey of all time. So far anyway, but I dread to imagine it being beaten.

 

So an eventful day in Prague, which had only finished at around 2:30am the next day on arriving back in Komin. And we’ll get to do it all again in a couple of weeks with Bohemians away, provided I can get over my current grudge with the city by that point…

 

Who are ya?

If you know even a little bit about Czech football, then the chances are you know full well the answer to this question. That said, the history of Červenobílí (the red and whites) is a fascinating one worth looking into.

 

Formed in 1892, the club are among the oldest in the country, as well as the 2nd most successful since independence in 1993. With 21 titles and many Czech Cups in their cabinet, it’s a history that’s the envy of many club throughout the world, let alone the Czech Republic.

 

They were formed by medicine students in the Vinohrady area of Prague with the club initially focusing on cycling before expanding to football in 1896. Their rivalry with Sparta would start fairly soon after, with Scottish manager Johnny Madden also bringing some managerial nous overseas in 1905. His era was a golden one, with 134 domestic matches won out of 169.

 

The club also had no fewer than eight players in the Czechoslovak national team in the 1934 World Cup. During the forties, Slavia picked up four consecutive league titles from 1940-44. But it hasn’t all been smooth sailing, with Slavia experiencing relegation in 1961 and 1963. It took until 1996 for them to win their 14th league title.

 

Even more incredibly, Slavia got to the semi-finals of the UEFA Cup the following season, losing narrowly to Bordeaux 2-0 over two legs. They had, however, seen off Freiburg, Lugano, Lens and Roma on the way. It took them until 2007-08 to make a group stage for the first time. They finished third in their Champions League group of Steaua Bucharest, Sevilla and Arsenal, before losing to Spurs in the UEFA Cup knockouts.

 

They would make the Champions League groups again in 2019-20, only to receive a draw of Inter, Barcelona and Dortmund. You can probably guess how that ended – the image of the Slavia’s representatives at the draw should give you a good idea...

 

In any case, the club is 33rd in the UEFA club coefficient for good reason – they’re a huge side not just in Czech Republic but in Europe. Despite the many controversies (i.e. the racism scandals of 2021 against Rangers), there’s no doubting the club is an absolute powerhouse.

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