All Your Tatrans, Coming Home to Roost: Tatran Kohoutovice 1-1 Tatran Rousinov

"Forget it Marge; it's Cocktown!"

Okay, so hear me out. This isn't some kind of pornographic spin-off of the usual blogs, as I'm sure you'll be over the moon to discover. It's just that the kohout in the name of this Brno district, Kohoutovice, translates as rooster, or cock. 

Much like in German, the Czechs use their word for rooster to also describe a tap. Perhaps appropriately, the hosts were something of a leaking tap defensively last week at Svratka Brno - well, not actually Svratka but their temporary home in Brnenske Ivanovice - as they lost 5-1 in a game I had planned to go to before deciding to take the weekend off instead. Or rather, my finances had made that decision for me.

The focus today is once again on the JMKP and this Clash of the Tatrans. If I could remember how to make a trademark symbol, rest assured it would come straight after the word Tatrans there. At the time of writing, there are also plans to take in a brief trip Strani on the Sunday of this weekend, but that will depend on the health of my dying phone...

As a result of their 5-1 defeat, the hosts for today's game find themselves down in 11th, while their opponents in Rousinov are five points ahead in 7th. Even at this early stage, neither team looks likely to challenge for promotion to the fourth tier - such is a nature of a league with just the one promotion every season. Relegation also looks a long-shot given Moravan Lednice's woeful start to the season - just the one point from nine games.

According to Futbology, these two sides have never faced each other before, so this would be the first battle between the two Tatrans. Why so many clubs in and around Brno bear the Tatran moniker I'm not sure, given that the Tatras in Slovakia are at least four or five hours away.  It turns out it's essentially a remnant of Communism in Czechoslovakia, with several teams carrying the moniker today in both modern Czech Republic and Slovakia, as shown in the map below, albeit just in the Czech Republic. 

The ground, the game, and any other business

I recall visiting the ground once before, though only in a fleeting sense of walking past the ground on a hike. At the time in March 2023, Kohoutovice were far from being on my radar down in the sixth or seventh tier - I had barely known about the fifth tier at that point of my time in Brno. But the ground looked a great place to watch a game, so I'd pencilled it in the back of my mind somewhere.

Fast forward almost a couple of years and I'm hopping off the 37 bus at Voříškova, looking to find the ground on purpose this time. My first impressions of Kohoutovice were that it seemed a charming neighbourhood with plentiful greenery and forest surrounding its many panelak buildings. The ground involved a short walk down a hill through a forest, at which point it was neatly tucked away at the foot of this hill.

For a fifth tier game, the crowd were a hugely impressive 150, with a small 'ultras' section banging a drum and chanting throughout, as well as waving Nigerian flags with a stereotypical image of an ultra in the middle, green and white being the colour of Kohoutovice. There was even a Husky somewhere in the ground attempting to sing along in the classic Husky style.

The hosts even resembled Yeovil Town with their green and white hoops, while Rousinov looked the spit of Derby County with their white shirts/black shorts combination. Though both teams had Tatran in their names, this definitely wasn't a derby in that sense of the word.

The first half was - and I'm putting this mildly - an absolute snooze-fest. Neither team created anything after a promising opening 15 minutes. It was essentially a case of aimless long balls from either side, combined with a lot of attritional play. A couple of rough tackles were made, but nothing that could have caused serious injury. 

At one point, a Rousinov player was down injured, with the home fans ironically crying for nositka (a stretcher). When he arose, someone from the same set of fans amusingly yelled the words superman syndrome in perfect English, surrounded by some other words in Czech. 

Things didn't get any better in the second-half, though Rousinov began to look the more likely team to score. Things only started to liven up in the last ten minutes, as the hosts seemed to be awarded a penalty. The referee then decided to award a free-kick right on the edge of the box, before sending Rousinov's captain off. After a long pause, Kohoutovice scored the resultant free-kick and looked likely to take all three points.

Rousinov weren't done there, however, and with the final kick of the game, were able to equalise deep into stoppage time. There was a clear handball in the build up which the referee missed, before giving a dangerous free-kick to the away side. A fantastic cross was met by a Rousinov head, and the battle of the Tatrans couldn't have been any closer.

I looked at a couple of the other games on today - Moravska Slavia Brno v Svratka Brno, and Pohorelice v Cezava. Both were seemingly far more entertaining 4-2 home wins, but all that said, a short trip to Kohoutovice is definitely something that every groundhopper and football fan should experience when in Brno.

Five things you didn't know about Kohoutovice

1.)  There doesn't seem to be a great deal in Kohoutovice given its size, but it is home to one of Brno's only waterparks, Aquapark Kohoutovice. 

2.)  The ground is on one of Brno's best hiking routes, which starts in Byrstc and ends around the city centre, via Kohoutovice. It takes you around Holedna via some wild pigs (safely fenced off), and some absolutely stunning natural landscapes.

3.) Though the population has increased massively since the early 20th Century, it has more recently been on the decline again since 1991, with just over 2,000 fewer residents living in the district.

4.) Around twenty years ago, the club were in the third tier, despite having been 7th tier in 2003/04. This wasn't some meterioic rise - it's far more likely that some league licences exchanged hands for those two seasons in which they finished 14th and 15th in the MSFL respectively. Then in 2006, they were in the 6th tier. How the mighty had fallen...

5.) The club were promoted from the 6th tier last season, and have so far enjoyed a reasonably good start. They currently find themselves in 11th, twelve points above the drop zone.