Can't Buy Me Larne: Conference League Fever in Ballymena

 From meeting a man called Jurgen in Lurgan, to experiencing Conference League Fever in Ballymena, this whole trip has been something of a Dr Seuss book. In all fairness, it's likely to feel just as crazy by the time I'm at Belfast International Airport. What started in Cork and Cobh last Wednesday ends in Ballymena before a mad dash to the airport for a 6am flight back to Stansted on Friday morning.

Suffice to say, I'll be sleeping my Friday away in an attempt to compensate for airlines and their ridiculous departure times (as well as Stansted's lack of any quick/direct Stevenage connection). And of course I'll be doing similar on the following Tuesday night before getting a 7am flight (seriously, get a grip airlines) from Gatwick to Ljubljana for another Conference League adventure involving Koper. But that's another story for another day.

For now, our focus is on Larne, and the aim this summer given my flexibility is to see as many European ties in the qualifying rounds as possible. As a result, I'll try and profile all of the teams I see - think of it as a deep dive into the lesser lights of the European stage. They need some love too!

Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of this trip is that the game won't be played in Larne, rather it will take place at Ballymena Showgrounds due to Larne's pitch failing the Fifa Pro standard pitch test (whatever that means). This is not a slight on that stadium or Ballymena by any means, but it seems crazy that Larne aren't allowed to host a game at Inver Park.

I guess the upside is that I still get to tick a Northern Irish top flight ground off, and I have an excuse to return and tick more off. I'm fairly impressed that I've managed three before the league season has even had a chance to begin. And given the beauty of both parts of the Emerald Isle, I'll definitely return at some point. You only have to visit something like Cobh, or the Giant's Causeway to recognise just how stunning this part of the world truly is. 

Annoyingly loud housemates in Belfast aside, the trip has been incredible, and ending it with some European football seemed the perfect way to bookend things. Part of me wishes it could have been Windsor Park, as it was during the league stage last season, but then again, there's an excuse to come back.

Larne - Can Northern Ireland's only group stage competitor make it once again?

For a nation that's given us the likes of George Best, why is it only last season we've seen a Northern Irish side break through into a main stage of a European tournament in the 21st Century? Well, for one thing, the Conference League has made it a lot more viable for these smaller clubs. The Champions League and Europa League may remain closed to the lower coefficient nations, but in the Conference League, anything is possible.

That's not to take anything away from Larne, rather to celebrate the opening of possibilities for sides that could only dream of European nights in previous years. Larne even managed a famous win over Belgian side Gent, and the fact they'd already been consigned to elimination by this point having lost every previous game is neither here nor there. Larne fans have a memory that will genuinely last them a lifetime.

When Purple Bricks owner Kenny Bruce bought his hometown club in 2018, they were at arguably their lowest ebb, with relegation to the third tier looking a distinct possibility. Perhaps many would have laughed off aims of eventually getting the club into Europe, but they've made at least the first qualifying round every year since 2021, even experiencing famous wins over Aarhus of Denmark, Pacos de Ferreira (at least in the first leg), and the aforementioned Gent. Though Bruce may have sold his share in the club, there's no denying his funding has laid some solid foundations.

Standing between them and the 2nd Qualifying Round of the Europa Conference League are FK Auda of Latvia. They've been in this position before, having seen off B63 of Faroe Islands last season, before then defeating Larne's fellow NIFL side Cliftonville 4-1 on aggregate, even coming from a goal down in the initial away leg to win 2-1.

They eventually fell to Kosovan outfit Drita after extra time, even scoring at the very start of extra time, before a double hammer blow meant heartache in Pristina. It was, however, a better run than the previous season, in which they were knocked out my Slovak side Spartak Trnava (2-5 on aggregate).

Perhaps all signs point to an away win, given that RFS of Latvia demolished Larne in the Champions League first stage last season, meaning Larne were dropped into the Conference League's third qualifying round. They had their revenge against Kosovan side Balkani, who'd thrashed them 7-1 on aggregate the season before, though only just via penalties. After that, it was a 4-3 aggregate win over Lincoln Red Imps that made history for both Larne and Northern Irish football more generally.

Larne 0-0 Auda, because...of course it's goalless

It would be fair to say my decision-making skills aren't quite what they could be. In my defence, who could predict that the game I attend would be the only goalless first leg Conference League tie? That said, I was pretty convinced of it by half-time, with the two teams virtually inseparable. Larne would have a solid ten minutes, then Auda would do so. It was that kind of game where nobody could really grab a foothold.

Larne will feel it's an opportunity missed, with the hosts really starting to push for a winner toward the end. The lack of home advantage taken could well be costly. That said, according to one fan I spoke to at Ballymena station, they've done alright away from home in Europe, so don't write them off too soon.

There really isn't much to report from the game in truth - the sun was an absolute nuisance in the first half, pretty much frying an entire stand for 45 minutes. I sat there, hatless, wishing they'd opened the other stand instead, as I'm sure everyone in that end did. I was pleasantly surprised to see a few Auda fans had travelled from Latvia, and they'd made pretty much all the noise until the drum arrived for Larne, and both fans were as loud as one another for the remainder of the game.

The other fun part was simply getting to the end in which both sets of fans were assigned, having turned up at the opposite side. It was genuinely a ten minute walk to reach the opposite stand, given its awkward location slap bang in the middle of a housing estate. Then when I arrived, I spent a good twenty minutes at the food van waiting for an overpriced and slightly overcooked hot dog - I never like to complain, but it was pretty shambolic. That said, the hot dog did definitely improve with each bite, and it was just about worth the £6, even if it was a mess to eat.

By the full-time whistle, my Europa Conference League fever had gone, and my thoughts turned to a 6am flight back to Stansted. I waited for the 11pm train back to Belfast along with two kind gents, with whom I spoke fondly of Ben Kennedy, Dale Gorman, and Jamie Reid with (three Northern Irish Stevenage players, past and present for those unfamiliar). 

They also implied I was mental, which was fair, although I did justify it by saying this was one small aspect of a much longer and vital trip back to a country from which I drew my roots. It's a shame it couldn't end with a decent game in Larne, but despite everything, it was still an enjoyable experience on the whole.

That Conference League fever will certainly resurface next week in Koper, Slovenia (so stay tuned for that blog!), but for now, I need a long sleep. Good night!

Five things you didn't know about Larne

1. With Larne being so far northeast of the island of Ireland, you can actually see the coast of Scotland from its shores on a clear day. Furthermore, the town is perhaps most well-known for its passenger service to Stranraer (well, Cairnryan, which is close enough).

Stranraer?? In Scotland? Ooh, me angina...

2. The town motto is Falce Marique Potens, which for those not proficient in Latin translates as 'Powerful with the sickle and on the sea.

3. Magheramorne, which is around five miles south of Larne, is home to a studio that was used to film a great deal of HBO series Game of Thrones. 

4. Larne is significant in the sense it lends its name to a mineral, Larnite. It was first discovered by Cecil Edgar Tilley on Scawt Hill in Larne back in 1929.

5. The football club won the NIFL for the first time ever in 2023, and they were able to retain that title the following season, breaking Linfield's dominance. That said, Linfield were runaway champions last season by 22 points.